Everything has been going really well with this no drinking deal. I even did the ultimate step in accountability and let my facebook network know I made this lifestyle change. Received nothing but support. And for me, this made my choice even more real.
I have had a few cravings lately, and I’ve noticed that I tend to react to them poorly – becoming short with my husband and kids. It reminds me of when I get PMS (I am a terror), but it’s not that time of month. I call it the “time of month when I want to unzip my skin and step out side myself, and run far, far away, like the rest of the people around me do” syndrome. In other words, I am completely unbearable – even to myself. So apparently drinking cravings do that to me too. Bless my family’s hearts. Bless my heart.
Trying to work on how to coast through those clouds, and resurface a nice human. In the meantime, I am getting a little anxiety. Summer is coming to a close. I’ve had a lot of travel for work, and this will continue through August. Labor Day brings our first vacation to my husband’s mother’s home on the water near Seattle. I look forward to the time off, but there will be a lot of people visiting, in a small space, with our 2 year old son who does not (DOES NOT) sleep away from home. I anticipate some serious wine cravings then. Plus, I really LOVE pumpkin beer. Love love love it. Bye bye my love.
After that, of course, my first “dry” Thanksgiving. Plans are up in the air right now. And then Christmas, where, thankfully, we will be home, and I believe no guests. I really like calm, quiet Christmases. No pressure. But oh Lord, the holidays. Bad eating and bad drinking go hand in hand. Parties, egg nog, etc. etc. Open to holiday sobriety fun ideas. Please share.
We booked a trip for our family to Maui in February. I am so excited, because it’s our first real vacation since our honeymoon. I say real, because my folks are coming too, and there will be times where we can get away from the kids and actually go be adults. Another ultimate sobriety test for me. Beach…vacation…part-time kidless. So excited, and such a privilege to get to do this, but I pray I keep my commitment in tact.
Sometimes I get that urge where the little voice in my head says “one glass of wine won’t hurt,” and honestly the only thing that prevents me from having one is starting over. All these days under my belt…it gives me strength. And, I’m scared of the slippery slope. I don’t know if I will have the control or not, to have just one drink, and then go back to nothing all the time, because I started this journey on a whim, when my problem was more of a developing habit than an actual medically diagnosable addiction.
Anyway, enough musings for tonight. These are the upcoming challenges, and I’m putting them out there, in the universe, so that they are not the dark secret looming inside of me gaining control. I’m hoping by releasing them, they no longer can touch me.
Thanks, as always, for reading and caring.